I'll get off this topic after this - but for now it is still major news
We are entering a new generation of obesity and now it's not just adults who are obese - it is expected that the number of children who are obese will hit 20% by the year 2010 - that's only FOUR years from now.
I heard or read somewhere that we are reaching that stage in obesity where this or the next generation of children will NOT have a longer life span than the parents...
Not only is obesity bad in and of itself, it makes all other medical problems worse....
I've been blogging about healthier children and adults for a while now and hope the readers of this blog are among those who will read the news and act on it...It is something parents have control over during the child's early years...and good nutrition early on can never be a bad choice...and good nutrition in the younger years leads to healthier choices in the teen years....
Yes we know that teens will make bad food choices when out of our sight - but if they have a foundation of good nutrients, they will come back to eating healthy....
Monday, September 18, 2006
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Back to School
Like some teens, I had a bit of trouble settling into a routine this summer - spent time with my son who was here...and got back into photography and now am part of a show opening this week.....
Okay - now it's time to settle back into a work routine...just like I did when I was a teenager. I was better at managing my time then because my mother took care of all those little details like paying household bills, shopping and cooking. I was a typical teen who did not appreciate any of that - not until I lived on my own.
The teen in your life probably does not appreciate what you do either - my own son, who heard me talk about this [as I taught about teens], did not heed the message either : ). He had "money shock" when he first lived on his own and had to buy and cook the food, and pay the rent and utilities.
Is there a way to get our teens to learn this? Maybe; we can teach it, talk it and do all sorts of showing them - but I really do believe the the brain does not really register what we say - they can repeat it back and we think they "get it." Maybe they do - but we don't see it in action until they live on their own....I am an example that shows even when you "get it" you don't always pay attention to "it."
The one message I got and my son got - was to eat healthy food. Honestly I am not sure why that messagae "took" for me or for him - but with all the recent news on obesity in the USA and the world, I am glad we both got that message....Eating well and healthily is a good message to get across as often as you can - your life and that of your child and grandchild depends on it....
From an ongoing conference on obesity comes this message:
"Obesity is an international scourge," Professor Paul Zimmet, the chairman of the meeting of more than 2500 experts and health officials, told delegates in a speech opening the International Congress on Obesity.
"This insidious, creeping pandemic of obesity is now engulfing the entire world." "It's as big a threat as global warming and bird flu," said Zimmet, an Australian expert on diabetes.
Okay - now it's time to settle back into a work routine...just like I did when I was a teenager. I was better at managing my time then because my mother took care of all those little details like paying household bills, shopping and cooking. I was a typical teen who did not appreciate any of that - not until I lived on my own.
The teen in your life probably does not appreciate what you do either - my own son, who heard me talk about this [as I taught about teens], did not heed the message either : ). He had "money shock" when he first lived on his own and had to buy and cook the food, and pay the rent and utilities.
Is there a way to get our teens to learn this? Maybe; we can teach it, talk it and do all sorts of showing them - but I really do believe the the brain does not really register what we say - they can repeat it back and we think they "get it." Maybe they do - but we don't see it in action until they live on their own....I am an example that shows even when you "get it" you don't always pay attention to "it."
The one message I got and my son got - was to eat healthy food. Honestly I am not sure why that messagae "took" for me or for him - but with all the recent news on obesity in the USA and the world, I am glad we both got that message....Eating well and healthily is a good message to get across as often as you can - your life and that of your child and grandchild depends on it....
From an ongoing conference on obesity comes this message:
"Obesity is an international scourge," Professor Paul Zimmet, the chairman of the meeting of more than 2500 experts and health officials, told delegates in a speech opening the International Congress on Obesity.
"This insidious, creeping pandemic of obesity is now engulfing the entire world." "It's as big a threat as global warming and bird flu," said Zimmet, an Australian expert on diabetes.
Thursday, July 06, 2006
It's summer
Teens are out there working and driving...most teens are very industrious - it's part of that energy system that they have and that we as parents begin to lack...
Let your kids be kids but keep an eye and ear available ... not too close but close enough.
And don't forget you were a teen once as well- remember those endless hours on the phone where you really had nothing to say? Well today it's cell phone use and at least it isn't tieing up the family phone like I used to do : )
and exercise? hopefully the teens get lots of that this summer as well - depending on where you live - there are community parks, playgrounds, pools and the like for them to hang out at - it serves many purposes - fun, socializing and maybe just some exercise....
hate to harp on food but try to make sure the teens don't overdo the fast food - it's just plain bad for them, for you, for me, for all of us - my motto - "If I can't pronounce the words on the label, I don't want it in my body."
Let your kids be kids but keep an eye and ear available ... not too close but close enough.
And don't forget you were a teen once as well- remember those endless hours on the phone where you really had nothing to say? Well today it's cell phone use and at least it isn't tieing up the family phone like I used to do : )
and exercise? hopefully the teens get lots of that this summer as well - depending on where you live - there are community parks, playgrounds, pools and the like for them to hang out at - it serves many purposes - fun, socializing and maybe just some exercise....
hate to harp on food but try to make sure the teens don't overdo the fast food - it's just plain bad for them, for you, for me, for all of us - my motto - "If I can't pronounce the words on the label, I don't want it in my body."
Friday, June 02, 2006
Teens, food and sleep
Do teens get enough sleep? Research seems to indicate that they do not...but they do get too much fast food and maybe the combo is creating a worse problem than either issue alone.
There is fast food sold in schools - machines with what I call "make believe" food - that which has a list of what sounds like chemicals as ingredients - machines with sugar water also known as "soda," and cafeterias that serve high calorie empty calorie food that fills but does not nourish....
What does this combination do to a growing body? Probably not much that is good.
When I was a teen I don't recall how much sleep we all got - it was never an issue. We had split sessions in our crowded high school so some had to be there early but there did not seem to be complaints from anyone...and fast food was still a futuristic idea....we had slow food : ) tasteless but probably more nutritious than today's school fare....
I read recently that we are producing the first generation that will probably NOT have a longer life expectancy than their parents - that's sad as it something we have control over and yet we do not control it...
Teens need food - real food - and they need more sleep...
There is fast food sold in schools - machines with what I call "make believe" food - that which has a list of what sounds like chemicals as ingredients - machines with sugar water also known as "soda," and cafeterias that serve high calorie empty calorie food that fills but does not nourish....
What does this combination do to a growing body? Probably not much that is good.
When I was a teen I don't recall how much sleep we all got - it was never an issue. We had split sessions in our crowded high school so some had to be there early but there did not seem to be complaints from anyone...and fast food was still a futuristic idea....we had slow food : ) tasteless but probably more nutritious than today's school fare....
I read recently that we are producing the first generation that will probably NOT have a longer life expectancy than their parents - that's sad as it something we have control over and yet we do not control it...
Teens need food - real food - and they need more sleep...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Identity
Teens think they know it all and you can't tell them differently. All you can do is remind them you have lived a lot longer - at which point they will roll their eyes and give you "the look."
They are different people at different times as they try on personalities and behaviors. When i was a teen my friends and I sat in front of mirrors and practiced smoking - deciding which way made us look older and sexier. We practiced the dangling cigarette, holding it differently, blowing smoke in many ways, etc. The fact that our parents had told us to not smoke was irrelevant. Am I sorry I did not listen? Sure - I became a smoker and smoked for many years before quitting.
Did I tell my son to not smoke? No. He knew my feelings about health and cigarettes but he tried smoking as a teen - but since it was not something we could fight about - he stopped smoking except when he was in the Army. Unfortunately the availability of cheap cigarettes at the base and smokers all around got him smoking again - but he stopped and is now a non- smoker.
What we have to learn with our teens is that they spend much of the day away from our control and sight. They will try out the differing personas with friends and schoolmates and all we can do is hope they don't get hurt in the process.
Teen years are tough for all of us - just remind yourself that as much as your teen says they know it all and know what they are doing - they don't - they are scared and that's why they are more sure they know it all- they are bluffing... As parents we need tough skin when parenting teens. It helps no one to let them get to you and make you start to lose your control.
They are different people at different times as they try on personalities and behaviors. When i was a teen my friends and I sat in front of mirrors and practiced smoking - deciding which way made us look older and sexier. We practiced the dangling cigarette, holding it differently, blowing smoke in many ways, etc. The fact that our parents had told us to not smoke was irrelevant. Am I sorry I did not listen? Sure - I became a smoker and smoked for many years before quitting.
Did I tell my son to not smoke? No. He knew my feelings about health and cigarettes but he tried smoking as a teen - but since it was not something we could fight about - he stopped smoking except when he was in the Army. Unfortunately the availability of cheap cigarettes at the base and smokers all around got him smoking again - but he stopped and is now a non- smoker.
What we have to learn with our teens is that they spend much of the day away from our control and sight. They will try out the differing personas with friends and schoolmates and all we can do is hope they don't get hurt in the process.
Teen years are tough for all of us - just remind yourself that as much as your teen says they know it all and know what they are doing - they don't - they are scared and that's why they are more sure they know it all- they are bluffing... As parents we need tough skin when parenting teens. It helps no one to let them get to you and make you start to lose your control.
Monday, February 20, 2006
Boundaries
We all have and need boundaries and we all need to explore those limits - but doing it safely and securely is a good way to go. I used to go rock climbing - it can be very dangerous - but not if you know your own boundaries and the security of your equipment and peers. Yes it scared me at first as it was a real test of trust - the rock, the people and the equipment.
So I started with the basics - I learned to test the ropes I was using, learned to tie knots and practiced maneuvers a few feet from the ground - not when I was higher up the cliff! I became a rock climber! [No I don't climb anymore but I toy with the idea of a climbing wall...]
I think climbing walls are popular because they do allow children and teens to test themselves against a boundary - all in a very safe and secure environment. Climbing walls did not exist when I started - we used real rocks : )
Giving your teens a solid boundary and not backing off when they scream and curse you out will help them. But don't make the boundary a frivolous one - you and your teen need to have a talk about the boundary - not on a day when they want to push it - but before then. Communication is never lost on a teen - it just seems that way to us parents....
So I started with the basics - I learned to test the ropes I was using, learned to tie knots and practiced maneuvers a few feet from the ground - not when I was higher up the cliff! I became a rock climber! [No I don't climb anymore but I toy with the idea of a climbing wall...]
I think climbing walls are popular because they do allow children and teens to test themselves against a boundary - all in a very safe and secure environment. Climbing walls did not exist when I started - we used real rocks : )
Giving your teens a solid boundary and not backing off when they scream and curse you out will help them. But don't make the boundary a frivolous one - you and your teen need to have a talk about the boundary - not on a day when they want to push it - but before then. Communication is never lost on a teen - it just seems that way to us parents....
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Parenting Teens
This is a difficult topic. No one can tell you how to be a parent. Like teens, parents are not amenable to listening to other people - at least not usually. If someone tells you that you need to be a stricter parent and to spend more time with your teenager when you do not believe this is the way to parent - would you listen to them?
Teens need rules. Teens do not need more and more freedom even though that is what they tell you they need and want. As a parent you need to set limits for all your kids - they bump against the limits and fight them but that is a good thing. It's how they learn what are the rules for our culture. If you keep moving the limits as kids bang against them - they never understand limits. Kids are very good at the "gimme gimme gimme" game and it is perfectly fine to say "no no no" to them.
Well not really perfect or fine .. but I never said it was easy having a teen in the house - in fact it can be downright nasty. When he was in his 20's and a fine adult - my son said "Did you know how much I hated you when I was a teenager?" I said yes - it's part of the parent - child scenario. The he reflected and said "You picked your fights carefully." We discussed this and I realized that I had done that since he was born. I was always a working mother, then a single parent and after his father died - his only family. I am also a psychologist who tried to practice what she preaches and picking fights is an important part of child rearing. Why make everything a fight? Kids love that - it gives them an edge - they know how to push your "buttons."
Early on I knew that toilet training was not going to be a battle ground - and it wasn't. Ear piercing and tattoos were also not grounds for fights. Why? It's his body. And besides - as he pointed out I had pierced ears.
We fought about school, driving and reporting where he was. The parents of all the kids who hung out together had agreed among ourselves that we would enforce these rules so no one could say so and so's parents don't do that and this was a huge help.
As I think about it now - it does take a community to rasie a child - especially a teenager and having a support system among the parents of the other teens is a big help - but you have to be in agreement even though you know the kids will hate you for them!
We lived in D.C. when my son was a teen and all too often we heard of teens dying in car accidents - either they were drinking and driving or driving too fast. And most of the time the parents had bought the cars for the kids. None of my friends bought cars for their kids and none of our kids had serious accidents - yes they had fender benders - but with our rules about drinking, seat belts and the distinct possibilty of not being able to use a family car - we kept our kids under control...and yes they all hated it....then - but now that they are nearing 30 - they see we did the right thing for them.
It's something to give thought to - it's okay for your kids to hate you....
Teens need rules. Teens do not need more and more freedom even though that is what they tell you they need and want. As a parent you need to set limits for all your kids - they bump against the limits and fight them but that is a good thing. It's how they learn what are the rules for our culture. If you keep moving the limits as kids bang against them - they never understand limits. Kids are very good at the "gimme gimme gimme" game and it is perfectly fine to say "no no no" to them.
Well not really perfect or fine .. but I never said it was easy having a teen in the house - in fact it can be downright nasty. When he was in his 20's and a fine adult - my son said "Did you know how much I hated you when I was a teenager?" I said yes - it's part of the parent - child scenario. The he reflected and said "You picked your fights carefully." We discussed this and I realized that I had done that since he was born. I was always a working mother, then a single parent and after his father died - his only family. I am also a psychologist who tried to practice what she preaches and picking fights is an important part of child rearing. Why make everything a fight? Kids love that - it gives them an edge - they know how to push your "buttons."
Early on I knew that toilet training was not going to be a battle ground - and it wasn't. Ear piercing and tattoos were also not grounds for fights. Why? It's his body. And besides - as he pointed out I had pierced ears.
We fought about school, driving and reporting where he was. The parents of all the kids who hung out together had agreed among ourselves that we would enforce these rules so no one could say so and so's parents don't do that and this was a huge help.
As I think about it now - it does take a community to rasie a child - especially a teenager and having a support system among the parents of the other teens is a big help - but you have to be in agreement even though you know the kids will hate you for them!
We lived in D.C. when my son was a teen and all too often we heard of teens dying in car accidents - either they were drinking and driving or driving too fast. And most of the time the parents had bought the cars for the kids. None of my friends bought cars for their kids and none of our kids had serious accidents - yes they had fender benders - but with our rules about drinking, seat belts and the distinct possibilty of not being able to use a family car - we kept our kids under control...and yes they all hated it....then - but now that they are nearing 30 - they see we did the right thing for them.
It's something to give thought to - it's okay for your kids to hate you....
Monday, January 16, 2006
Being a teen
Being a teenager is hard. It's a time of bodily change but also a time one does not want to be with one's parents too much. So we have this organism going through a strange journey and who will not talk to parents about it. Or if forced to talk to parents - it's snarling, mumbling or yessing you to death...but its rarely open honest communication.
Teens are more likely to communicate with another teen's parents or a neighbor. The mantra for teens is "my parents don't understand me." There is a comic called Zits which I think does a great job of characterizing teens and making it funny. A few weeks ago there was one where the teen was behind the wheel of the car and his mother was the passenger. It was so funny and so hit the spot, I had to call my son and describe it to him - then we both laughed!
Maybe it would help if parents thought of their teen aged children as aliens. It may lead to a way of dealing with them without the expectations we would have for dealing with one of our own species : )
On a serious note - some teen age actions can be dangerous to them and to others. Teens tend to not think of death or hurt and if they do it is something that happens to others - not to them. Teens often see themselves as invincible - nothing can harm them. Unfortunately this can lead to driving too fast, driving after drinking and having unprotected sex. Some states have changed their licensing laws for new teen drivers so that they can not have passengers and/or can not drive after certain hours. That may help but having parents who make rules and stick with them - in spite of the guaranteed fight - who tend to have kids who curtail the more dangerous activities.
Contracts - yes like legal contracts - about behaviors and especially about driving rules are very beneficial. But and it's a big but - you MUST stick with the contract you all agreed to. The contract is between the people in the family and all agree to the terms. It is not a dictatorial statement - my way or the highway - that is not a way to approach anyone let alone a teen [and in law it's not a good contract anyway.]
A contract can be an act of maturity for the teen.. hey my parents let me help make the decision. Believe it or not - children of all ages like to know the rules. They also like to help make the rules. And people who help make the rules are more apt to abide by those rules.
Teens are more likely to communicate with another teen's parents or a neighbor. The mantra for teens is "my parents don't understand me." There is a comic called Zits which I think does a great job of characterizing teens and making it funny. A few weeks ago there was one where the teen was behind the wheel of the car and his mother was the passenger. It was so funny and so hit the spot, I had to call my son and describe it to him - then we both laughed!
Maybe it would help if parents thought of their teen aged children as aliens. It may lead to a way of dealing with them without the expectations we would have for dealing with one of our own species : )
On a serious note - some teen age actions can be dangerous to them and to others. Teens tend to not think of death or hurt and if they do it is something that happens to others - not to them. Teens often see themselves as invincible - nothing can harm them. Unfortunately this can lead to driving too fast, driving after drinking and having unprotected sex. Some states have changed their licensing laws for new teen drivers so that they can not have passengers and/or can not drive after certain hours. That may help but having parents who make rules and stick with them - in spite of the guaranteed fight - who tend to have kids who curtail the more dangerous activities.
Contracts - yes like legal contracts - about behaviors and especially about driving rules are very beneficial. But and it's a big but - you MUST stick with the contract you all agreed to. The contract is between the people in the family and all agree to the terms. It is not a dictatorial statement - my way or the highway - that is not a way to approach anyone let alone a teen [and in law it's not a good contract anyway.]
A contract can be an act of maturity for the teen.. hey my parents let me help make the decision. Believe it or not - children of all ages like to know the rules. They also like to help make the rules. And people who help make the rules are more apt to abide by those rules.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Major apologies
I managed to take on more than I could do for a while last year....so blogging, which is a pro bono fun activity had to take a back seat for a while. Did manage to keep up with some blogs but not all...
As this is a new year - it comes with it's own resolutions and mine is to be more regular with the blogging....
Ah teens...every time I speak with my son I am so glad he is no longer a teen. We have now reached a point in our relationship where can laugh about some of the episodes of his teen years and my parenting during that time.
The adolescent years are ushered in by hormonal changes. That's most usually around 13 but can be earlier or later... If you ever had a problem with your own hormones as during pregnancy or with a thyroid problem, you have an inkling of what happens to your body.
As adults, we sort of know that our hormones are not "normal." Teens do not always understand this. Bodies are growing in all directions - sometimes unevenly. Sexual feelings occur - often with little to stimulate them. Girls start menstruating, growing pubic hair and developing breasts; boys have unpredictable erections, facial and pubic hair and voice changes. Even the best educated teen is not always comfortable with these changes.
Adolescence is a confusing time - for the teen and for the parents. It's a time where peers are more important than family. Peers accept the oddity of adolescence - they are all undergoing the somewhat same experiences.
It's also a time to experiment with this new body....Cigarettes, marijuana, sex and sports are equal enticements. Parents have all sorts of rules about smoking, drugs and sex...but you know what? You can't actually keep a teenager from doing what he/she chooses to do. You can only hope that your previous messages about health and safety are in that brain and come to the fore at times :)
Why do teens do what they do? coming soon - I promise
As this is a new year - it comes with it's own resolutions and mine is to be more regular with the blogging....
Ah teens...every time I speak with my son I am so glad he is no longer a teen. We have now reached a point in our relationship where can laugh about some of the episodes of his teen years and my parenting during that time.
The adolescent years are ushered in by hormonal changes. That's most usually around 13 but can be earlier or later... If you ever had a problem with your own hormones as during pregnancy or with a thyroid problem, you have an inkling of what happens to your body.
As adults, we sort of know that our hormones are not "normal." Teens do not always understand this. Bodies are growing in all directions - sometimes unevenly. Sexual feelings occur - often with little to stimulate them. Girls start menstruating, growing pubic hair and developing breasts; boys have unpredictable erections, facial and pubic hair and voice changes. Even the best educated teen is not always comfortable with these changes.
Adolescence is a confusing time - for the teen and for the parents. It's a time where peers are more important than family. Peers accept the oddity of adolescence - they are all undergoing the somewhat same experiences.
It's also a time to experiment with this new body....Cigarettes, marijuana, sex and sports are equal enticements. Parents have all sorts of rules about smoking, drugs and sex...but you know what? You can't actually keep a teenager from doing what he/she chooses to do. You can only hope that your previous messages about health and safety are in that brain and come to the fore at times :)
Why do teens do what they do? coming soon - I promise
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