Being a teen

Being a teenager is hard. It's a time of bodily change but also a time one does not want to be with one's parents too much. So we have this organism going through a strange journey and who will not talk to parents about it. Or if forced to talk to parents - it's snarling, mumbling or yessing you to death...but its rarely open honest communication.

Teens are more likely to communicate with another teen's parents or a neighbor. The mantra for teens is "my parents don't understand me." There is a comic called Zits which I think does a great job of characterizing teens and making it funny. A few weeks ago there was one where the teen was behind the wheel of the car and his mother was the passenger. It was so funny and so hit the spot, I had to call my son and describe it to him - then we both laughed!

Maybe it would help if parents thought of their teen aged children as aliens. It may lead to a way of dealing with them without the expectations we would have for dealing with one of our own species : )

On a serious note - some teen age actions can be dangerous to them and to others. Teens tend to not think of death or hurt and if they do it is something that happens to others - not to them. Teens often see themselves as invincible - nothing can harm them. Unfortunately this can lead to driving too fast, driving after drinking and having unprotected sex. Some states have changed their licensing laws for new teen drivers so that they can not have passengers and/or can not drive after certain hours. That may help but having parents who make rules and stick with them - in spite of the guaranteed fight - who tend to have kids who curtail the more dangerous activities.

Contracts - yes like legal contracts - about behaviors and especially about driving rules are very beneficial. But and it's a big but - you MUST stick with the contract you all agreed to. The contract is between the people in the family and all agree to the terms. It is not a dictatorial statement - my way or the highway - that is not a way to approach anyone let alone a teen [and in law it's not a good contract anyway.]

A contract can be an act of maturity for the teen.. hey my parents let me help make the decision. Believe it or not - children of all ages like to know the rules. They also like to help make the rules. And people who help make the rules are more apt to abide by those rules.