Monday, February 20, 2006

Boundaries

We all have and need boundaries and we all need to explore those limits - but doing it safely and securely is a good way to go. I used to go rock climbing - it can be very dangerous - but not if you know your own boundaries and the security of your equipment and peers. Yes it scared me at first as it was a real test of trust - the rock, the people and the equipment.

So I started with the basics - I learned to test the ropes I was using, learned to tie knots and practiced maneuvers a few feet from the ground - not when I was higher up the cliff! I became a rock climber! [No I don't climb anymore but I toy with the idea of a climbing wall...]

I think climbing walls are popular because they do allow children and teens to test themselves against a boundary - all in a very safe and secure environment. Climbing walls did not exist when I started - we used real rocks : )

Giving your teens a solid boundary and not backing off when they scream and curse you out will help them. But don't make the boundary a frivolous one - you and your teen need to have a talk about the boundary - not on a day when they want to push it - but before then. Communication is never lost on a teen - it just seems that way to us parents....

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