growing teens

Ideas for 2008?

2007-12-29T15:57:00.000-08:00

You are my readers - is there any topic[s] you would like me to write on?

Use the comment function to post your questions..

I'll use your comments to post more articles on those topics in 2008..

Have a great new year...

POST YOUR QUESTIONS BELOW - click on COMMENTS

Cause for concern?

2007-11-05T16:23:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer - I take vitamins and supplements. I also market vitamins and supplements. And I do suggest that children, teens and adults need supplements....

But did you ever stop to wonder why the big pharmas and your docs tell you vitamins are a waste of money?

Medical School Department Heads Financially Connected to Drug Companies
Breaking News
By VRP Staff

A new survey indicates that almost two thirds of department heads at U.S. medical schools have financial ties to drug companies.

The survey, conducted by researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School, was distributed to all 125 accredited medical schools and the nation’s largest teaching hospitals. A total of 459 of 688 eligible department chairs completed the survey.

The results indicated that many of the academic leaders at these institutions served as paid consultants to the pharmaceutical industry or accepted free meals and drinks from drug company representatives. Overall, 60 percent of the department heads had a personal financial relationship with the drug companies. Twenty-seven percent reported serving as a paid consultant to the pharmaceutical industry and an equivalent amount of respondents also reported serving on a drug company scientific advisory board. Furthermore, 21 percent of these academic leaders reported serving on speakers’ bureaus for the drug industry. Eleven percent of respondents were on the board of directors of companies involved in the medical industry. In short, the survey found that pharmaceutical companies are involved in every aspect of medical care.

The lead author of the study, Eric Campbell, pointed out that drug companies and makers of medical devices often take advantage of these academic connections to convince physicians to widely prescribe the companies’ products to patients, even if the products aren’t necessarily in the patients’ best interest. Campbell also co-authored a study last year, which found that these same links to drug companies occur on hospital review boards that oversee experiments on patients.

Reference:

Campbell EG, Weissman JS, Ehringhaus S, Rao SR, Moy B, Feibelmann S, Goold SD. Institutional academic industry relationships. JAMA. 2007 Oct 17;298(15):1779-86.

Help - there's a teen in the house!

2007-11-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

My own mother once said she could no longer visit me because it was just too noisy in my house!

My son was 13 or so at the time and I couldn't hear what she heard...I had gotten so used to it - but she was in her 80's and lived in a very quiet area of Florida where no one under 50 could live - they could just visit. [ We never did figure out what length of visit was "acceptable" but a week was all I could do and that was fine.]

My house had a teenager, two dogs and two cats. When my son got home from school, he usually played with, fed and walked the dogs as I worked. Apparently this entailed too much noise for my mother - with happy barking dogs, cats deciding to be in another area of the house and my son having fun with his pets. After the dog walking, he turned on "his" music which was hip-hop or rap.

I related my mother's comment to a few friends and we all laughed - none of us was aware of how noisy our homes must seem to others! We never noticed it.

Parents of teens need to become very selectively deaf or you will go nuts. Of course you could ask for the noise level to be tuned down but didn't you do the same thing when you were a teen? Part of it is the rebellion aspect...Is it intended to tune out parents? drive parents crazy? or do teens not even think about others - including the parents?

I think it's a bit of all of the above.

I lived with it - figured it was part of the package of having a child who grows up. We worked out deals around who's music got played when and how loud - especially in the car. He is now in his late 20's and can still be quite noisy when playing video games - but now his significant other is dealing with it : - ).

Kids grow up so fast - you have to enjoy them at all ages - and yes that includes the teen years!

I'll get back to this blog - I promise

2007-10-26T12:21:00.000-07:00

In the past few weeks I have been asked by many when I will again post about adolescence.

My reply has been when I am finished with my child development book - but it's now getting possible that I will include some information about pre and early teens in that book - [Not a lot thought or the book will never get done.]

But the way I work - if I add some info in the current book - I'll get started back writing for this blog - or a book for parents of teens - [well maybe parents of pre-teens so you can get prepared : - )]

Next week I am back to writing...

No - I haven't forgotten teens

2007-08-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

I've just been busy finishing up the child development book and want to get it done before the end of summer...and there are just so many hours and words in a day....

Teens are important - but getting off to a good start with younger children is important too.

Vitamins

2007-01-26T14:39:00.000-08:00

For those who have been regular readers of this blog, you know I prefer "real" food to products with unpronounceable names in them....It's why I have been taking a daily vitamin that is food based - and not one "made" in a lab with who-knows-what in it.

I was alerted to an article about vitamins - which you can read it here

In short it's an article about food-based vitamins v. synthetic ones and contained information I was not aware of concerning the synthetics and the idea of talking in terms of milligrams.

It's worth a read if you take vitamins or if your teens and other children take synthetic ones..

Happy Healthy New Year

2007-01-01T19:07:00.000-08:00

Healthy living for the 21st Century

When we were young we heard what are called "old wives tales" about health and food...We rolled our eyes and looked at our mothers as if they were aliens...Now we are learning that our mothers were correct. Maybe they knew what Hippocrates said:

"Leave your drugs in the chemist's pot if you can heal the patient with food."
"Let food be thy medicine, thy medicine shall be thy food."

Or maybe they read Maimonides:
"Let nothing which can be treated by diet be treated by other means."

Or maybe they knew this Chinese proverb:
“He that takes medicine and neglects diet, wastes the skill of the physician.”

Whatever knowledge they had - those old wives - our parents and grandparents - they seemed to know a lot about nutrition.

My mother was adverse to seeing a physician unless absolutely necessary - something I took note of as she lived to 95. She believed in eating well and letting one's body take care of itself. She fed us well and grew most of the vegetables we ate. But - and it's a big BUT.... the soil was in better shape when I was a kid.... and that was in New York City!

Today we have depleted the soil and no matter how organic our food - it is missing what it used to have way back when - and what is missing are many essential nutrients. The environment is more toxic than it was, food is more processed, and it is usually picked before it is ripe and very often cooked to death.

If the soil and environment have worsened, is there anything we can do to grow older better? Yes - we can supplement our diets with glyconutritional products.

“Glyconutritional products will play a leading role in the 21st century's emerging wellness industry. The driving determinant will be the growing realization that optimal cell-to-cell communication is one of the most critical functions of the life process and is fundamental to immune system health."

And if our cells do a better job of talking to one another, who knows what they can start talking about! So listen to your body now - it talks to you and tells you what it needs - and it can do a lot more communicating if given the appropriate equipment.

Newer equipment

I'm a skier so let me use a ski analogy. Skiing can be tiring and it's even more so with older bodies and older equipment. When I first skied we had leather boots with laces and very heavy long skis with heavy bindings. But I was a lot younger then - in my 20's and I hardly noticed how tiring it was - it was too much fun. As I aged - into my 50's - I began to think there had to be a solution to all the work the skiing knees do and I fell in love with what were called shaped skis or parabolic skis. I was the first I knew to buy a pair and it made all the difference for my body. The skis do the work! I'm into a newer shorter pair these days and will continue to monitor newer models of skis as it makes more sense to let the equipment do the bulk of the hard work.

At the same time I learned of the new ski equipment, I also came across new inner body equipment - glyconutrients. For sports fans, think of glyconutrients as the nutritional version of shaped skis, lightweight bikes or titanium softball bats. It's all about that new equipment helping us do what we do better and to doing it as we age.

The ingredients in glyconutrients are not "new" - they have been around probably forever and used to be found in our daily food - but no more. The ingredients have been re-discovered and combined into products; products that protect and nourish our cells and regulate our organs and organ systems.

Way back when we were in school the up-to-date science of the time was adequate for then but it was missing a lot of information we now know about. I know from my own field of Developmental Psychology that advances in technology lead to advances in developmental knowledge. The same is true of all sciences, including glycobiology. In this new field, over 20,000 articles have been written in a few short years. Why so many and why so fast? "This breakthrough discovery exposed the missing link that has the scientific community, health researchers, and pharmaceutical companies scrambling to get up to speed on this incredible science. "

Science and medicine have long tried to break the code by which the cells of the body communicate with one another in order for its complex functions to occur. Just as biochemistry is the chemistry of life, this mysterious code is the language of life. For years, scientists focused on proteins as the primary communication molecules. Early in this century however, a theoretical mathematician at the Weisman Institute calculated the number of molecular configurations possible with protein molecules and the number of known chemical command signals needed to run the body. She concluded that there were not enough protein configurations possible to supply all the messages. Another code was required - a sugar code.

Of the 200 monosaccharides [sugars] that occur naturally in plants, eight are known to be components used in cell-to-cell communication. These eight sugars are glucose, fucose, mannose, galactose, xylose, N-acetylglucosamine, N- acetylgalactosamine and N-acetylneuraminic acid. Only two of these, glucose and galactose, are commonly found in the foods we eat. The others need to be put into our bodies in the form of nutritional supplements.

Glyconutritional products will play a leading role in the 21st century's wellness industry. The driving determinant will be the growing realization that optimal cell-to-cell communication is an important function for the life process and is fundamental to immune system health. And - it is what will allow us to be healthier as we age.

yet more on obesity

2006-09-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

I'll get off this topic after this - but for now it is still major news

We are entering a new generation of obesity and now it's not just adults who are obese - it is expected that the number of children who are obese will hit 20% by the year 2010 - that's only FOUR years from now.

I heard or read somewhere that we are reaching that stage in obesity where this or the next generation of children will NOT have a longer life span than the parents...

Not only is obesity bad in and of itself, it makes all other medical problems worse....

I've been blogging about healthier children and adults for a while now and hope the readers of this blog are among those who will read the news and act on it...It is something parents have control over during the child's early years...and good nutrition early on can never be a bad choice...and good nutrition in the younger years leads to healthier choices in the teen years....

Yes we know that teens will make bad food choices when out of our sight - but if they have a foundation of good nutrients, they will come back to eating healthy....

Back to School

2006-09-03T15:54:00.000-07:00

Like some teens, I had a bit of trouble settling into a routine this summer - spent time with my son who was here...and got back into photography and now am part of a show opening this week.....

Okay - now it's time to settle back into a work routine...just like I did when I was a teenager. I was better at managing my time then because my mother took care of all those little details like paying household bills, shopping and cooking. I was a typical teen who did not appreciate any of that - not until I lived on my own.

The teen in your life probably does not appreciate what you do either - my own son, who heard me talk about this [as I taught about teens], did not heed the message either : ). He had "money shock" when he first lived on his own and had to buy and cook the food, and pay the rent and utilities.

Is there a way to get our teens to learn this? Maybe; we can teach it, talk it and do all sorts of showing them - but I really do believe the the brain does not really register what we say - they can repeat it back and we think they "get it." Maybe they do - but we don't see it in action until they live on their own....I am an example that shows even when you "get it" you don't always pay attention to "it."

The one message I got and my son got - was to eat healthy food. Honestly I am not sure why that messagae "took" for me or for him - but with all the recent news on obesity in the USA and the world, I am glad we both got that message....Eating well and healthily is a good message to get across as often as you can - your life and that of your child and grandchild depends on it....

From an ongoing conference on obesity comes this message:

"Obesity is an international scourge," Professor Paul Zimmet, the chairman of the meeting of more than 2500 experts and health officials, told delegates in a speech opening the International Congress on Obesity.

"This insidious, creeping pandemic of obesity is now engulfing the entire world." "It's as big a threat as global warming and bird flu," said Zimmet, an Australian expert on diabetes.

It's summer

2006-07-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

Teens are out there working and driving...most teens are very industrious - it's part of that energy system that they have and that we as parents begin to lack...

Let your kids be kids but keep an eye and ear available ... not too close but close enough.

And don't forget you were a teen once as well- remember those endless hours on the phone where you really had nothing to say? Well today it's cell phone use and at least it isn't tieing up the family phone like I used to do : )

and exercise? hopefully the teens get lots of that this summer as well - depending on where you live - there are community parks, playgrounds, pools and the like for them to hang out at - it serves many purposes - fun, socializing and maybe just some exercise....

hate to harp on food but try to make sure the teens don't overdo the fast food - it's just plain bad for them, for you, for me, for all of us - my motto - "If I can't pronounce the words on the label, I don't want it in my body."

Teens, food and sleep

2006-06-02T20:12:00.000-07:00

Do teens get enough sleep? Research seems to indicate that they do not...but they do get too much fast food and maybe the combo is creating a worse problem than either issue alone.

There is fast food sold in schools - machines with what I call "make believe" food - that which has a list of what sounds like chemicals as ingredients - machines with sugar water also known as "soda," and cafeterias that serve high calorie empty calorie food that fills but does not nourish....

What does this combination do to a growing body? Probably not much that is good.

When I was a teen I don't recall how much sleep we all got - it was never an issue. We had split sessions in our crowded high school so some had to be there early but there did not seem to be complaints from anyone...and fast food was still a futuristic idea....we had slow food : ) tasteless but probably more nutritious than today's school fare....

I read recently that we are producing the first generation that will probably NOT have a longer life expectancy than their parents - that's sad as it something we have control over and yet we do not control it...

Teens need food - real food - and they need more sleep...

Identity

2006-03-21T18:14:00.000-08:00

Teens think they know it all and you can't tell them differently. All you can do is remind them you have lived a lot longer - at which point they will roll their eyes and give you "the look."

They are different people at different times as they try on personalities and behaviors. When i was a teen my friends and I sat in front of mirrors and practiced smoking - deciding which way made us look older and sexier. We practiced the dangling cigarette, holding it differently, blowing smoke in many ways, etc. The fact that our parents had told us to not smoke was irrelevant. Am I sorry I did not listen? Sure - I became a smoker and smoked for many years before quitting.

Did I tell my son to not smoke? No. He knew my feelings about health and cigarettes but he tried smoking as a teen - but since it was not something we could fight about - he stopped smoking except when he was in the Army. Unfortunately the availability of cheap cigarettes at the base and smokers all around got him smoking again - but he stopped and is now a non- smoker.

What we have to learn with our teens is that they spend much of the day away from our control and sight. They will try out the differing personas with friends and schoolmates and all we can do is hope they don't get hurt in the process.

Teen years are tough for all of us - just remind yourself that as much as your teen says they know it all and know what they are doing - they don't - they are scared and that's why they are more sure they know it all- they are bluffing... As parents we need tough skin when parenting teens. It helps no one to let them get to you and make you start to lose your control.

Boundaries

2006-02-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

We all have and need boundaries and we all need to explore those limits - but doing it safely and securely is a good way to go. I used to go rock climbing - it can be very dangerous - but not if you know your own boundaries and the security of your equipment and peers. Yes it scared me at first as it was a real test of trust - the rock, the people and the equipment.

So I started with the basics - I learned to test the ropes I was using, learned to tie knots and practiced maneuvers a few feet from the ground - not when I was higher up the cliff! I became a rock climber! [No I don't climb anymore but I toy with the idea of a climbing wall...]

I think climbing walls are popular because they do allow children and teens to test themselves against a boundary - all in a very safe and secure environment. Climbing walls did not exist when I started - we used real rocks : )

Giving your teens a solid boundary and not backing off when they scream and curse you out will help them. But don't make the boundary a frivolous one - you and your teen need to have a talk about the boundary - not on a day when they want to push it - but before then. Communication is never lost on a teen - it just seems that way to us parents....

Parenting Teens

2006-02-05T20:15:00.000-08:00

This is a difficult topic. No one can tell you how to be a parent. Like teens, parents are not amenable to listening to other people - at least not usually. If someone tells you that you need to be a stricter parent and to spend more time with your teenager when you do not believe this is the way to parent - would you listen to them?

Teens need rules. Teens do not need more and more freedom even though that is what they tell you they need and want. As a parent you need to set limits for all your kids - they bump against the limits and fight them but that is a good thing. It's how they learn what are the rules for our culture. If you keep moving the limits as kids bang against them - they never understand limits. Kids are very good at the "gimme gimme gimme" game and it is perfectly fine to say "no no no" to them.

Well not really perfect or fine .. but I never said it was easy having a teen in the house - in fact it can be downright nasty. When he was in his 20's and a fine adult - my son said "Did you know how much I hated you when I was a teenager?" I said yes - it's part of the parent - child scenario. The he reflected and said "You picked your fights carefully." We discussed this and I realized that I had done that since he was born. I was always a working mother, then a single parent and after his father died - his only family. I am also a psychologist who tried to practice what she preaches and picking fights is an important part of child rearing. Why make everything a fight? Kids love that - it gives them an edge - they know how to push your "buttons."

Early on I knew that toilet training was not going to be a battle ground - and it wasn't. Ear piercing and tattoos were also not grounds for fights. Why? It's his body. And besides - as he pointed out I had pierced ears.

We fought about school, driving and reporting where he was. The parents of all the kids who hung out together had agreed among ourselves that we would enforce these rules so no one could say so and so's parents don't do that and this was a huge help.

As I think about it now - it does take a community to rasie a child - especially a teenager and having a support system among the parents of the other teens is a big help - but you have to be in agreement even though you know the kids will hate you for them!

We lived in D.C. when my son was a teen and all too often we heard of teens dying in car accidents - either they were drinking and driving or driving too fast. And most of the time the parents had bought the cars for the kids. None of my friends bought cars for their kids and none of our kids had serious accidents - yes they had fender benders - but with our rules about drinking, seat belts and the distinct possibilty of not being able to use a family car - we kept our kids under control...and yes they all hated it....then - but now that they are nearing 30 - they see we did the right thing for them.

It's something to give thought to - it's okay for your kids to hate you....

Being a teen

2006-01-16T19:55:00.000-08:00

Being a teenager is hard. It's a time of bodily change but also a time one does not want to be with one's parents too much. So we have this organism going through a strange journey and who will not talk to parents about it. Or if forced to talk to parents - it's snarling, mumbling or yessing you to death...but its rarely open honest communication.

Teens are more likely to communicate with another teen's parents or a neighbor. The mantra for teens is "my parents don't understand me." There is a comic called Zits which I think does a great job of characterizing teens and making it funny. A few weeks ago there was one where the teen was behind the wheel of the car and his mother was the passenger. It was so funny and so hit the spot, I had to call my son and describe it to him - then we both laughed!

Maybe it would help if parents thought of their teen aged children as aliens. It may lead to a way of dealing with them without the expectations we would have for dealing with one of our own species : )

On a serious note - some teen age actions can be dangerous to them and to others. Teens tend to not think of death or hurt and if they do it is something that happens to others - not to them. Teens often see themselves as invincible - nothing can harm them. Unfortunately this can lead to driving too fast, driving after drinking and having unprotected sex. Some states have changed their licensing laws for new teen drivers so that they can not have passengers and/or can not drive after certain hours. That may help but having parents who make rules and stick with them - in spite of the guaranteed fight - who tend to have kids who curtail the more dangerous activities.

Contracts - yes like legal contracts - about behaviors and especially about driving rules are very beneficial. But and it's a big but - you MUST stick with the contract you all agreed to. The contract is between the people in the family and all agree to the terms. It is not a dictatorial statement - my way or the highway - that is not a way to approach anyone let alone a teen [and in law it's not a good contract anyway.]

A contract can be an act of maturity for the teen.. hey my parents let me help make the decision. Believe it or not - children of all ages like to know the rules. They also like to help make the rules. And people who help make the rules are more apt to abide by those rules.

Major apologies

2006-01-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

I managed to take on more than I could do for a while last year....so blogging, which is a pro bono fun activity had to take a back seat for a while. Did manage to keep up with some blogs but not all...

As this is a new year - it comes with it's own resolutions and mine is to be more regular with the blogging....

Ah teens...every time I speak with my son I am so glad he is no longer a teen. We have now reached a point in our relationship where can laugh about some of the episodes of his teen years and my parenting during that time.

The adolescent years are ushered in by hormonal changes. That's most usually around 13 but can be earlier or later... If you ever had a problem with your own hormones as during pregnancy or with a thyroid problem, you have an inkling of what happens to your body.

As adults, we sort of know that our hormones are not "normal." Teens do not always understand this. Bodies are growing in all directions - sometimes unevenly. Sexual feelings occur - often with little to stimulate them. Girls start menstruating, growing pubic hair and developing breasts; boys have unpredictable erections, facial and pubic hair and voice changes. Even the best educated teen is not always comfortable with these changes.

Adolescence is a confusing time - for the teen and for the parents. It's a time where peers are more important than family. Peers accept the oddity of adolescence - they are all undergoing the somewhat same experiences.

It's also a time to experiment with this new body....Cigarettes, marijuana, sex and sports are equal enticements. Parents have all sorts of rules about smoking, drugs and sex...but you know what? You can't actually keep a teenager from doing what he/she chooses to do. You can only hope that your previous messages about health and safety are in that brain and come to the fore at times :)

Why do teens do what they do? coming soon - I promise

Coping with a teen

2005-09-13T17:59:00.000-07:00

How do you cope with a teen? The best way is to have put a lot of work into your parenting BEFORE the teen years and hope you all survive that period of time...Since we are all relatively normal people reading this - we may not have put in all that prior work or we may have done things we now think are not so good - hey I'm a Psychologist who "ought to know better" and I was not the best parent in the pre-teen years... In case you haven't had a kid yet let me tell you a secret:

PARENTING IS HARD!!!

So now you have a teen. Be prepared for anything.. Especially a lot of noise..especially from the males of the teen species. I can hear some of you saying there are no sex differences - well that's what I used to say until I had a kid and compared notes with parents of boys v. parents of girls... one good friend of mine who had two daughters used to argue with me that her girls were pretty noisy..then she had a son! Only one of him was noisier than the two of them!

Ah - not just noisy but noisy and smelly - something about teens makes them smell - even if they bathe - and there are times when bathing with regularity is not a priority - they are too busy. There was a song by Nirvana "Smells Like Teen Spirit" that was popular when mine was a teen and I annoyed him and his friends by calling it "smells like teenager." [I said I was not the best of parents :) I have a warped sense of humor and could not help myself on that one - it was too too good!!!]

Anyway the smelly part of teenagedness goes away and is replaced by what I call the "many showers" stage. That's when 2 or 3 showers daily become routine - leading to the use of 3 towels a day and 3 changes of underwear! And that's when I decided that teens need to do their own laundry : ).

And what I wrote above is among the easier parts of being the parent of a teen.

next - some of the hard parts

Ah those teen years!

2005-08-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

I am a firm believer that few adults would want to re-do the teen years. If you are one who would like to re-do them - AS THEY WERE - please please add a comment and tell us why.

The years where your age ends in "teen" are given different labels by different theorists - like adolescence, pre-adult, puberty, and one I like - "normal psychosis."

No matter what it is called, we as a species need to evolve through those 7 years. Not that 12 and 20 are always so great but we don't tend to put kids that age into the category teen. [By the way, I usually say "kid." It's a habit from way back when I first started studying psychology.]

The teen years are ushered in by hormonal changes - and these in turn lead to physical changes and all of this is accompanied by mental changes. Just like with 2 and 3-year-olds coping with an awful lot of changes the teen seeks ways to deal with it. A major difference is that 2 and 3-year-olds are still under parental control and watch while teens are not- or not as much as we as parents would like. They are in school, they often travel there without the car pool, they learn to drive, and like it or not they experiment with "things."

"Things" can include not only drugs, alcohol and sex; it can include personality, academic interests, and sports.

Welcome to "normal psychosis."